"Mormon Mingle" - The Cottage Meeting in the Digital Age

LDS missionaries have organized "cottage meetings" for many years -- gatherings in homes where church members and investigators could meet in a comfortable setting where religious topics could be discussed but less formally. It has been a tried and true method by which good relationships could be built among missionaries, members, and friends of the church. Many such investigators have joined the church in this way.

Recently at the MTC the Referral Center missionaries (who are full time online missionaries with whom people chat at Mormon.org) have begun to pilot what they are calling the "Mormon Mingle" -- a version of the cottage meeting updated for the digital age. Instead of meeting in someone's home, those invited either meet in a group chat room or through a telephone conference call. The Mormon Mingle format is still in its infancy, but early efforts have proven so positive that these online missionaries are very encouraged and are now expanding their efforts.

This is how it works.
The missionaries invite a small number of recent converts and current investigators to come together for an informal chat. They try to bring together people who have some things in common if they can, since building relationships is a primary goal of the meeting. People show up at the given time online or on the phone. The missionaries welcome everyone and make introductions. There is no formal lesson, but someone presents a brief devotional or thought, or shares something of interest (such as one of the Mormon Messages videos). The introductions and the spiritual thought are just ways to springboard some good discussion. The whole thing takes between 30-60 minutes, depending upon the interest of those attending.

While the missionaries try to guide the conversation in the Mormon Mingle, they do not try to control it very much. Again, the idea is for members to feel comfortable talking about their lives and their beliefs with others; and for non-members to learn to know the church by way of its members. As they all get to know one another, it is very natural for members to explain their beliefs. One thing the missionaries do try to do is to make invitations both to members and to non-members: would you be willing to attend our church services this week and come back and chat about your experience here next week? Or, to a member, the missionaries might ask if they might continue contact with one of the investigators at the Mingle either through email or via Facebook, etc. Last week, this connecting between members and non-members happened without prompting from the Elders. It's simple: if people have a positive experience with others online, they like to keep contact (and can do so so easily now online).

The missionaries have found that the Mormon Mingle really needs to be quite limited in numbers. It's just too hard for people to have turns to talk if there are more than half a dozen present. They are experimenting with the format, learning as they go.

One variation of the Mormon Mingle is to host one of these gatherings just for current members. In this case, missionaries can seek ideas from members about using the various new media to share the gospel. As they host these mingling events, the missionaries could try to bring together members who share commonalities so they can brainstorm together about sharing the gospel within their situations. For example, one Mormon Mingle could be devoted to returned missionaries; another, to members in the military; another, to thirtysomething Moms with kids; another, to LDS bloggers, or ward missionaries, or people having a common language other than English, etc.

It has long been a truism that LDS missionary work advances most productively as members introduce their friends to the church. Members are often willing to do this but unsure of how to go about it. Within the Mormon Mingle, members can motivate and instruct one another in how this can be done, especially online.

Are there drawback to an online cottage meeting? Yes. It sounds silly, but not being able to share refreshments is a real drawback. The little things about hospitality truly matter a lot, and the online world can't imitate face-to-face encounters in many important ways.

But on the other hand, there are some very big advantages to the Mormon Mingle format. Above all, it shares with other new media a low threshold for participation. People who are online a lot anyway, who commonly participate with others through games or social media, are willing to try things in this medium that they might not in person. After all, if something is not your cup of tea, it is not that big of a deal simply to withdraw from participating. No one can feel trapped if their exit is simply a click away.  And now that so many people have a broadened sense of friendship due to social media, it seems that people are more willing to have lots of relationships with people at a distance. It will be more comfortable for many, many people to participate in an online meeting with Mormons than an in-person meeting. And of course, the one can lead to the other if appropriate.

Would you like to participate in a Mormon Mingle or do you have any ideas for how to make it work? If so, contact Elder Colton Baird (bairdct@mtc.byu.edu) or Elder Bryan Sabin (elderbryansabin@gmail.com). Or just go on to Mormon.org, click the chat button, and ask for these missionaries.